ive been detecting a hint of aggravation lately. ok not so much a hint, as way too many things are getting under my skin! and no its not that time of month fyi. haha unless you're referring to the full moon.
im going to blame this fantastic new mood on the new job. i'm not accustomed to be confused for this long, its hard to justify leaving my baby at home for something that brings be home so agitated. i have a little hope that it will get better but overall good days are decent and bad days are devastating.
these past few days have been discouraging to me im back to feeling like nothing will ever happen! ive been struggling with my choices so im feeling like weightloss is hopeless. with the aggravation i've noticed my bad eating habits are sneaking back. i take a walk in my neighborhood and i end up being sad and anxious because i want a house soooo bad and im scared i never will. im enrolled in tv/online classes and im on the brink of either dropping or failing because im finding it difficult to take the time needed to succeed. the sad part is on subject ive already passed with an A before and the other is something i find very interesting. ive been talking myself out of plans and dreams because the road isnt easy. and just to add to the aggrivation i had this blog completely typed only to have firefox shut down before i saved or published it.
my mom always said id argue with a sign post if i thought it was wrong, and she was so right! to this day i can talk myself out of the perfect situation with all my questions and insecurities. i dont know where to draw the line between gut feelings and questions. there is no such thing as a wrong decision. every decision brings you closer to the person you want to be and the life lessons you want to learn. if all else fails each "wrong" decisions lets you know what not to do again haha
i think what i need is a night to myself, a night to completely get away from everything. no family, no baby, no cell phone or computer. just time for my and my thoughts. i think its the perfect prescription for some rejuvenation and relaxation and whatever else i need to put me back on the right track. work said something about optional training down in the bay maybe ill take it just for the outing.
* forgive me for all the typos im retyping as fast as possible so i can go to sleep
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